Overused Punctuation!!!

I was looking at my blog titles! I use way too many exclamation points! I feel like everything I said yesterday I shouted! Maybe I just need to have a screaming contest with Avril! Get it out of my system! At least I'm not only speaking in "?"s!

Meanwhile, I thought it appropriate to include a bit of the script (since I couldn't find the video clip) of Seinfeld's Season 5: The Sniffing Accountant. Enjoy. (I did.)

Jake: What is it?

Elaine: It's nothing.

Jake: Tell me.

Elaine: Well, I was just curious why you didn't use an exclamation point?

Jake: What are you talking about?

Elaine: See, right here you wrote "Myra had the baby", but you didn't use an exclamation point.

Jake: So?

Elaine: So, it's nothing. Forget it, forget it, I just find it curious.

Jake: What's so curious about it?

Elaine: Well, I mean if one of your close friends had a baby and I left you a message about it, I would use an exclamation point.

Jake: Well, maybe I don't use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do.

Elaine: You don't think that someone having a baby warrants an exclamation point.

Jake: Hey, I just chalked down the message. I didn't know I was required to capture the mood of each caller.

Elaine: I just thought you would be a little more excited about a friend of mine having a baby.

Jake: Ok, I'm excited. I just don't happen to like exclamation points.

Elaine: Well, you know Jake, you should learn to use them. Like the way I'm talking right now, I would put an exclamation points at the end of all these sentences! On this one! And on that one!

Jake: Well, you can put one on this one: I'm leaving!

Happy 4th of July!

Naturally, I have to blog about Independence Day when it rolls around.

I would be an ingrate if I didn't say a bit about how grateful I am for the freedoms we enjoy in this country. The freedom to think, live and believe at our own discretion. The freedom to speak our minds. The freedom to worship- or not- by the dictates of our own beliefs. The freedom to bear arms, to be able to protect our lives, our families and our property. The freedom to seek out our opportunities, also known as the Pursuit of Happiness.

Note here the difference between the right to the Pursuit of Happiness and the "right" to Happiness. Refer to the Bill of No Rights, as penned by Lewis Napper. Here are a couple of my favorite "non-rights":

ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

I am just so grateful to be in a country where millions of people are offended by each other every day, but only the outrageous few are actually at odds with the law for voicing their opinions. Yes, I think we are growing too permissive in some areas and not strict enough in others, but as we stand today (and especially as this country stood when it was founded), I'm proud to be a citizen of the "land of the free and the home of the brave".

Trogdor Strikes Again!

Apparently Trogdor was seen burninating the California countryside. I only just heard of this, but it appears that this has been going on since before Arnold became governor.

I Blog Like A Man!

I found this site, the Gender Genie that boasts 80% accuracy of it's ability to predict the gender of a given writer. It turns out, however, that I'm really a man. I plugged in a piece that I wrote on my myspace blog and it gave me this score:

Words: 994

(NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.)

Female Score: 1415
Male Score: 1778

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

Now, that being said, I tried a couple different passages and passed myself off as a female a couple of times as well. I'm really kind of conflicted in my feelings about blogging like a man. However, here's a bit I read on some feminist's blog (disclaimer: I hate feminazis):

"According to the research I had (primarily Lakoff, as I remember), feminine genderlects tend to:

-use language as a way to create and build relationships

-consist of stories, anecdotes, and narratives

-use hedging, as in “sort of,” “it would seem,” and the like

-employ what she called “empty adjectives,” like “adorable,” “super,” and such

-use “tag questions,” as in “You’re cold, aren’t you?” or “This is delicious, wouldn’t you say?”

-have a specialized lexicon, such as striating “pink” into “rose,” “blush,” “mauve,” and “magenta”" from Feminist Mormon Housewives

Having read that, I'm glad that I don't use a lot of hedging and empty adjectives when I'm writing seriously. On the other hand, I love tag questions and I feel like I need to use more stories, anecdotes, and narratives. And who knows? Maybe I'll check out the site again and try to see what they're saying. But my repugnant feelings for feminazis are the subject of another blog.

Rap 'N Roll with Flight of the Conchords

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

My New Frustration

I'm at an impasse with my pictures. I want to post some absolutely ADORABLE new pictures of my girls, and maybe some video. But here's the problem. We have two desktops right now: our old one broke down a while ago, so we bought a new one and then the old one wound up getting fixed. So we're basically waiting for the old one to just up and keel over. Also, the cd drive refuses to open. Meanwhile, our beautiful, NEW, shiny computer is on the fritz. And it is bad. It broke down three (3) days after Derek left. Three weeks ago. It still is getting figured out and fixed.

So I've got this brilliant videocamera that also takes pictures. And if I could install the software (which conveniently is available on a cd that came with the camera), I could upload all my cute pictures here. But no. Neither computer is in any condition to take more pictures. And I was so excited to have the new, bright and shiny computer all to myself this summer. Some things are just not to be...