Mood Booster

I love my little girls.

The other day I was in the bathroom getting the girls ready for bed, and you know what Avril said?

She turned to me, took my face in her hands and said, "Mommy, you're gorgeous."

I'm not sure where she learned that, but I love it. I have the sweetest girls.

I don't think I ever mentioned that Xandri learned how to kiss-- but she did and she kisses me on the cheek all the time.

It kind of puts things in perspective.

Ending on a Good Note

So Derek showed me this video yesterday and I've been obsessed with it ever since. I need to find someone who will do this with me and an opportunity to do it! (You know, a talent show or a skit night or something...) So check it out. I think it's hilarious.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

I've got Good News and Bad News

Well, ok, I don't suppose it's really "news", but rather just a happy post and a depressed one. We'll start with the depressing one first so we can end on a good note.

Anyway, so what am I so depressed about? Ugh. I just finished reading all the updates in my reader. I just feel so blah right now. It seems like everyone else is doing interesting things, going interesting places, doing fun things with their kids and doing new projects.

My life is stale. Yes, stale. It seems like all I can do just to make it through the day and manage to feed the people who rely on me to eat. My house is never clean, and when I do manage to clean it, the cleanliness lasts until morning (because I clean it after the kids are in bed) if I'm lucky enough that Derek cleans up his late-night snacks. I mean, I'm not even managing the bare minimum here. Not to mention the killer headache I've had since yesterday, you know, the one that started out like a migraine and has since turned sinus headache? Yeah. Oh and this cough that Avril passed on to me and Xandri? Not pleasant. I honestly cough so hard it makes me gag. It's pretty violent.

I'm just so jealous of all of the pretty pictures people have to put up about the interesting things in their lives. Now, I usually think I'm a pretty interesting person, but lately I'm boring even myself. I feel sorry for anyone who has to hang out with me right now, I just don't have it in me!

Again, though, I think this babysitting thing is really taking it out of me. It's such a challenge to take two (or three) kids that young anywhere that I have intense cabin fever... but even if I could go somewhere, where would I go? What would I do? I'm stymied. Anywhere I'd go has to be cheap or free; it has to be kid-friendly and it has to be relatively close. HA! I live in Kirksville. And yet, a good deal of the people whose blogs I read live here, too... And you people are still depressing me! Now, now, don't apologize. Go on living your happy lives and doing your interesting things. I'll get out of my slump sooner or later (hopefully I'll get over my cold in time for my week off of sitting) and I'll join you in happy posting of interesting stuff. But until then, just know that I'm coveting the fun you're all having!

Ok. I'm done. Happy post next.

Introducing the Fluffiness

This is Derek growing his hair longer for a shaggy look. What he doesn't yet understand is that his hair now requires some level of work. (I won't say 'styling'... that's far too girly.)

You're in BIG trouble when we get home!

You can't ever get into trouble if you never get out of the car...

My Xandri Faery

She wanted me to put these wings on her and insisted on wearing them all day. I love it. She's already taking after me... Oh, and this is first day in pig tails! She's growing up so fast!
And in case you're wondering... those are craisins on the floor. She's addicted.

Nickname tag...

Ok, so Tara tagged me CLEAR back in February and I just haven't gotten around to it. So finally, here are our family nicknames:



DEREK:
D-rock
Rock Dawg
Derelicte
Buttbreath (it's a brother thing...)
Bubbles (another brother thing...)
Vorg
(We thought of a few more...and Derek has been making me wait until he thinks of all of them, but I've given up on him!)
Merrick
Ziggy





TASHEENA:
Sheen
Sheena
Big T
T
Tasheena de la jongle (correct me if I spelled that wrong Frenchies)
Shaniqua
Takishi
And... much to my everlasting embarrassment... Taz. Please don't use this against me. I cringe every time I hear it.



AVRIL:
Queen of the Babies (Xandri has now taken this title)
The Bug One
Buggles
Bugsy Malone
Mavril
Shmavril
Little Bird
Monkey
Monster 2 (yeah, I don't know either)
Big Sister
Or she answers to any of the Disney princesses. And sometimes she calls herself Mommy and calls me "Daughter". (On yet another tangent, she told me the other day that she likes it when Jaime "daughter-sits" her.)



ALEXANDRIA:
The Reigning Queen of the Babies
Boo
Bear
Boozlebub
Boozlebear
Boo Radley
Buggles (ok, so we got less original)
Monster 1
Monkey
The Baby
Crib midget
The Littlest One
Lexi
Xandri
For the record, I named her Alexandria Samaire for two reasons: what can I say, I'm a romantic with a penchant for cool names. It sounds so Queen of the Nile. But look at it-- SO many possibilities for nicknames.















The Corporal and Kitty are fondly called the "poopies". Give yourself a pat on the back if you know the reference.

As for tagging... yeah, I was never very good at tag. So, if you think you have a bunch of funny/cool/interesting nicknames and you want an excuse to list them, I just tagged you!

You are GORGEOUS!---HA!

Here's an update from my stupid Facebook application. I should take it off, because it's just depressing now.

Someone bumped you down the ranking. They think you are 'sloppy'. (sorry, we don't share who - due to our privacy policy).

Anyway, it's not an isolated thing. I keep getting this notice. And if people on Facebook are noticing, that means things are REALLY bad. Usually I'm able to conceal my sloppiness pretty well. Now, lest you think that my opinion of myself hinges on what some random online thing rates me, I'll explain a bit more.

I'm losing it.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but they're right. My house is sloppy, my kids are sloppy, I'm sloppy, my LIFE is sloppy. Yeah, you remember that optimistic artsy "word" I chose for my year? LIVE. Well, yeah, I seem to be having a harder time doing that than usual.

I don't want to sound all depressing and all and like I need a bunch of pity and whatnot. I don't need everyone reading this to comment and reassure me that I'm not sloppy. Because that's not in question. That's already answered. What I need is to hear, "Buck up. This will pass. Take an hour at a time and do your best to make that hour a success."

I don't know what it is. I think I'm just hitting major burnout. It's like I'm racing to this indefinable end that is always just a month away. Two kids, two puppies, med school, financial stress, babysitting (I'm so not ready for three yet!), SAA stuff (being on the board requires SO much time! Plus, of course I can't stop volunteering for things I don't have time or energy for), teaching yoga and kickboxing, doing the end of the year slideshow.... There is nothing left that keeps me going. Everything I'm doing right now is just draining my energy. Everything is just another obligation, another source of guilt for me. If I'm doing one thing, I feel guilty that I'm not doing something else. It makes no sense. I can be doing my budget and feel guilty for not cleaning the kitchen-- equally important, right? In fact, the budget's probably more so. And yet... The Guilt.